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Valentine Venom
149 VIEWS   +   1 UP VOTES Vote Up   -   0 DOWN VOTES Vote Down   +   0 COMMENTS Comments   =   151 HEAT INDEX What is Heat Index?
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       Valentine Venom

 

Oh gee, is it that time already? Most people get blue around Christmas but not me. For me it’s this sadistic “in  your  face ‘cause  you  don’t  have  a  lover  and I do” holiday, St. Valentine’s day - ya know, the tribute to lovers? Hmphh! All I know is February 14th is the day I go knock all the flowers off my coworker’s desks and poke holes in the bottoms of their chocolates.

     Okay, call it jealousy, vindictiveness or just plain meanness, but dammit! I’m mad! I mean, I haven’t been in a man’s arms in five years, unless you count the elderly gentleman I was taking care of; and that’s only because he was falling down the stairs! You know you’re past it when your cat is getting more action than you are - and right out in the middle of the yard too! It’s even worse when I have to pretend I have somebody so I’m not the laughing stock of the office. I have to go in extra early and put a vase of really nice flowers on my desk that I just happened to stop off and buy at the grocery store. Seeing as all the other women already got the nice bouquets, I had to settle for the ones they were going to throw out in the dumpster later in the afternoon (I just pick off the ends - nobody really knows). I had to make it look extra sweet so I invested in a big Valentine’s Day cake. It was one that somebody hadn’t picked up though, so I had to scrape off the writing that said ‘I love you forever Vivian”  

     Man, this blows! If it wasn’t for my boss that gave everybody a box of candy from the dollar store, I wouldn’t have a Valentine at all. Oh well, all I can say is if ya can’t love yourself who can you love        Lovin’ me - it’s a dirty job but somebody’s gotta do it.

 

from the book "Your Face Will Freeze Like That" and other stuff mom told us by-Mari' Emeraude

 

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