So I am getting married in less then a month. Just a couple more weeks and its all over. All the planning, all the running around and appointments will be done and just a memory. I am very excited for this day to come. After all the questions and gossip that has been going on, I will just be so happy when its all over. I know that sounds bad, but its just true. I love my soon to be husband and I couldn't dream of being with anyone else, but I wish I could skip the wedding and just go to the court house or something. I have learned that through all this, the wedding isn't for the bride and groom at all, its for family and friends.
I never wanted any of this. A white dress, centerpieces, flower arrangements, it just seems such a waste of time to me. Marriage is just a piece of paper after all, right? You and your spouse are what defines the marriage, and you are just as married if you go to the court house vs. having a large wedding.
We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone and all their business, so everyone talks. Everyone knows that we both love each other and I don't know of anyone that doesn't want us to be together, but we still are the talk of the town. I hate that. I wish people would stop asking me questions about my wedding, mostly because I just don't care. I don't care what anything looks like. I just want to be married and blend into the town like everyone else is. On a side note, my future husband loves it. He loves it all. He seriously wanted to invite the whole town to our union, and so did his family.
I am a transplant from a different part of the state that we live in. I am from a large city where no one cares who you are, they just want you to get out of their way. College and a job moved me to this little town where I met my soon to be. My future husband's family is very well known here, so I guess I will have to get used to this small town gossip circle. I can pretend that after the wedding is over that these people will stop talking about us, but who am I kidding? Ill forever be Brandon's wife, Ill never have my own name here. But I suppose that is ok, its not like I had a name in my hometown either.
I'm sure I will get used to this way of life eventually. I would do anything for him, including being nice to people that I don't particularly like being around. Did I mention that he is a firemen? That will give some perspective on all that he does for this city, which is ummm everything. Super involved, and I'm just not. Maybe I should put myself out there more or something, I can make friends anywhere, but I just want to watch Netflix and not wear pants.
Does everyone feel this way, but they make appearances to keep up their titles? I know that everyone does things that they don't want to, but all the time? Maybe once I have friends in the town I will want to do more stuff. Is that what this whole adult-ing thing is all about? Doing things that we don't like to do but learning to like them, or just tolerating them. I guess that is up to the individual.