For many of us getting older means losing the ability to do certain things that we’ve always been able to do without even thinking about it. Whether it is making things, doing DIY and car repairs or driving, it is often men rather than women who have difficulty coming to terms with declining health and declining abilities.
If you are caring for a husband or male relative who fits into this category there’s no doubt that you may be struggling too. Trying to deal with someone who is frustrated with his diminishing health and who may be angry can be difficult. It is often said by those who have opted for assisted care at home that it is the best thing they have ever done in terms of making life easier and saving their relationship! So, what can you do to cope with an angry relative?
Look Into Whether In-home Care Might Help
This doesn’t have to be a permanent or everyday arrangement. Some find that a spell of respite care at home by a professional carer can help to get over the initial period of frustration. So until things calm down you could benefit from the extra help.
Other Ways You Can Help Your Loved One
Try to understand how their illness is making them feel. Declining health, loss of mobility and impairment of cognitive skills can be upsetting and can lead to depression and anxiety. It’s your job to be there for them and show love and patience even though you are the one feeling the brunt of their frustration. Look for support groups and online forums where others who are in the same boat can help and support both of you.
Consult a Doctor
If there has been no formal diagnosis of your loved one’s declining health then you must get them to see a doctor as soon as possible. You may have to consider whether any form of dementia is involved in which case with access to medication and/or other therapies it’s possible to better manage their illness and allow life to be easier for them.
Help for Someone Who is in Denial
Sometimes when a person is frustrated or angry about their declining health it is because they are in denial about it. They are aware that something is very wrong but refuse to believe that they need help. If there is a diagnosis of dementia it can be even harder to get them to accept help. There are always things you can do to help them.
Keep talking in a calm manner to them about their health and assure them that you are there to help in any way you can. Speak to their home care services carer if they have one, or their doctor, and make plans on how you can give your loved one things to do that they can easily manage and that you know will bring them happiness and contentment. Gardening, walking the dog or simple household DIY tasks are all things you could initially do together.
When it becomes too much for you to cope with make sure get regular breaks and take time out for yourself.